The MIGHTY Toddler

With or without kids of your own, you’ve likely heard this phrase “the terrible twos”. But nothing, not even the knowing of that revealing little statement can prepare you wholly for the experience of raising a toddler. Trust me.

Here are some facts:

Your child will throw tantrums. It’s inevitable. One day you’re strolling through the supermarket, your gorgeous pig-tailed daughter sitting quietly in the child seat, gnawing delicately on one of the carrot sticks you peeled neatly and cut into strips just prior to your departure. The next, you’re frantically wheeling your way around the shopping centre, your daughters matted birds nest of hair hanging sideways from the trolley as she attempts to escape the safety of her previously enjoyable trolley space. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs as you rip open a 1kg bag of carrots you’d just bought from the supermarket, thrust a dimpled and furry orange thing at her, begging in low tones to “eat this and I’ll buy you a kinder surprise when we get to the petrol station”.

Your child will become a fussy eater. Your fridge is full of nutritious gourmet toddler foods that you’ve spent the past two days slaving over, praising yourself (and pinterest) for baking and creating these mini masterpieces that your son has been powering through with undivided attention. You pull out a spinach and ricotta frittata, a gluten-free walnut, cacao, coconut and organic peanut butter apple cookie and some slices of vintage cheese and pop them down on the table next to your little man. “Honey, I’m just going to the toilet”, you say as you pat his head and proceed to the bathroom. One minute and 32 seconds later you return. To a war zone. The frittata has been sliced to shreds using the back of your eftpos card that you mistakenly left up atop the highest point in the kitchen, which happens to be on the complete opposite side of the room to your son. The apple cookies are peanut butter side down on the freshly shampooed shag pile rug, which happens to also be on the other side of the room to your son. The cheese is nowhere to be seen, but weeks later you’ll sniff out the pungent scent of each piece lodged underneath the sofa, which, ah, also happened to be on the other side of the room to your son. You look for said son and find him half-way up the kitchen pantry, a mouth full of raw rolled oats. So you take him down, fill a bowl with rolled oats, pop in a spoon and let him at it.

Toilet training will not happen overnight. Oh, this toilet training bizo is EASY! It’s been a week now and your daughter has been telling you every time she needs to use the toilet. You’ve been running together to the toilet, popping her cute little seat on, watching her clamber up and smiling as her does her business. You’re so proud. You’ve danced around the house skipping excitedly with her Daddy, each holding one hand smothering her with enthusiastic praises. So, it’s about time she wears underwear you think. She’s trained. Definitely. Underwear day starts without a hitch and continues as normal, you have breakfast, she licks peanut butter off her toast; you go for a walk, she uses a public toilet like a boss; you head home for her afternoon nap and leave your big girl in the lounge playing with a few toys while you close the curtains in her room. Then suddenly, you hear this almighty scream. You run, taking two stairs at a time, preparing yourself for the worst, burst into the lounge and there she is. And she’s unharmed. And there’s the giant poo she accidently did too. On the floor next to her. Joy.

Right, I know I’ve probably scared the daylights out of you so far, but believe me when I tell you, a lot of the scenarios you face in living life with a toddler will be looked upon shortly after with genuine affection. You survive each day, just as you survived each sleep-deprived day you had with your newborn and when they pass you are wiser for it and your little one too has developed through and from it as well. So, to finish, here are a few more facts about your MIGHTY toddler: Their personality will amaze you. My daughter had the most incredible personality from birth, but as she gets older and further into her toddler years, that personality is flourishing into something amazing. Aside from the tantrums and the fussy eating and the pooping on floors, she’s so strong. I watch her lead her little troops at day care with the sturdy march of a mini-solider, but I also watch the empathy she doses out over her little friends. She pats arms when others cry and apologises when she realises she has done something she shouldn’t have. She sings in the shower and struts down the street to the music that plays in her imagination.

They will make you laugh. Toddlers are hilarious. Because they do as we do generally speaking, it’s like watching miniature adults conduct their own miniature lives. Listen carefully to their gorgeous conversations with each other, their negotiating as they swap one toy for something more interesting from their friend, or sibling. They speak genuinely, honestly. If they want something, they want it. And although it can be extremely frustrating listening to the incessant asking, telling, or whining, but just wait for those solid gold moments that just make you laugh. Like my daughter the other day as I was driving her to day care, I asked her to sing me a song and started myself with the ABC song. I glanced at her in the rear vision mirror as I sang, and as I neared of LMNOP watched as she shook her head, put her hand to her forehead and said MUM, STOP, NO! She shook her hand at the rear vision mirror and repeated STOP, said “like this” and started her own version of the rhyme. Apparently my crooning wasn’t good enough and potentially embarrassing (thank goodness her friends weren’t around!), but oh the sound of her ABC’ing was sweet music to my ears.

To end, I’ll let you in on a little secret of ours. When our daughter has been driving us batty, has been throwing tantrums all day and took two hours to get to sleep that night, we sneak into her bedroom when she’s finally down and gaze at her gloriously peaceful little face. We watch her breathe and smile at her dreams and count ourselves so lucky that we get to have her. Tantrums and all, she’s ours and we are so lucky.